Wednesday, July 23, 2008

What happened?

For anybody that cares, sorry I haven't blogged in a while. We're in the process of buying our first home which entails moving out of our old place, moving in with my parents for a month, and closing this coming Monday with the move-in that weekend. Add to that Katy working at target nights and weekends about 20 hrs a week and me helping out with the youth band at church we've been kinda pressed for time. Things should settle down after we move-in and get into a groove so I hope to get back to bloggin' soon. I miss it. I'm enjoying it. I hope you are. If not, I didn't like you anyway and to tell you the truth, nobody else does. They told me so.

dig it.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

I'm Through with Being a Christian

Well, at least as it's popularly defined. Before you start calling me Davis the Apostate; allow me to explain:

There is a system that crept into evangelical Christianity somewhere along the way. A system that relies on doing good deeds more than it relies on grace. It seems to say you will be saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ but the rest is up to you. You have to be good from the point of conversion on for God to love you and so help you if you fail because God is just waiting there to snatch away the gift of salvation that he so hesitatingly bestowed upon you in the first place. So we go forth trying to play the part; acting good, acting like we have everything together to show ourselves and others that we are good and God's favor is upon us because of our righteousness. Scared to show any chinks in the armor because that would negate our holiness, destroy our "witness", and render us totally undesirable and useless to God (who had doubts about you to begin with.) Horse poo!

Sadly, this seems to be the prevailing view of non-believers in relation to Christianity. Two positions are likely to arise from non-believers with this view on Christianity: 1. "Christians are hypocrites because they are no where near as holy as they act or think they are." People can see our faults a lot easier than we think they can. 2. "I could never be a Christian because I'm not good enough."

In either case I can't say I blame them for not believing. If this is what Christianity is I'm done. I'm not saying people who believe this way aren't believers but they aren't as free as they could be. For me, being a follower of Christ means redefining this popular view of Christianity. It means not living within this system trying to prove to everyone I'm a believer because I say and do the right things all the time. Not that we shouldn't try to do good, we should; but it is by no means what we should hang our hats on. The good we do should be out of our love and gratitude for Christ. Not out of a sense of indebtedness; we'll never get out of the red. Not to prove to others how good we are; Christianity isn't that self-serving. People won't believe us or they won't feel they can measure up.

I'm beginning to realize that God loves me (no, I mean for real), his grace is bigger than my mistakes, that he won't let me go no matter what; I'm not going to worry about being perfect anymore. I want to be more vulnerable, willing to say I don't have all the answers or even most of them; that I fall constantly. God help me, I'm no longer going to carry a burden that I was never meant to carry. Through Christ I'm his child; He's not angry at me. He'll always be there whether I screw it up or don't and he's not looking for me to pay him back or return the favor because grace always has and always will be unmerited.

dig it.


Ya, your right. This blog sounded a little reformed. I may be listening to Steve Brown and Michael Spencer to much. I'm definitely feeling their influence but I don't think that's a bad thing.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

I can't handle this. I' don't think the world can handle this.

As most of you know; we all have a choice to make in this life. We choose to use are powers for good or for awesome. Boston and Michael Sweet have made that choice. They have chosen wisely. In the past they used their powers for awesome separately. They now combine to bring about an awesomeness here to for never experienced by man. In short, Michael Sweet is the lead singer of Boston. This planet will never be the same.

Here is but a taste of the power to be witnessed on their summer tour:
Tom Sholz and Gary Pihl of Boston playing with Stryper at a benefit show for the Station Nightclub fire.

dig it.

Monday, June 2, 2008

Intent

Great music always make me want to play music, always makes me miss playing.

My last serious music venture ended over three years ago. It's felt like a lifetime. I haven't spent every moment since then pining for Bigger than Dallas (The best band ever, if you never saw us well you missed something that surpasses anything that you will ever see. Ever.) I do still miss playing with Rob and Callie, the great times, the camaraderie, the music. BTD was my life, my identity. It didn't matter as much what crappy job I had because that wasn't me. I was a bass player playing music and that's all I wanted to do, to be.

Since my time with BTD has come to an end I've felt rather lost. I've had no certain idea what to do with myself or really, who I am. Now I know what you do is not who you are but still, it's very important to me that what ever I spend the majority of my time dong have real purpose, real intent. I need to feel like I'm working towards something. Whether it be reading (to acquire knowledge that I feel with be useful now or sometime down the road), writing, or playing music. I need to feel like I'm really using my God-given abilities not just toiling away at a job. I don't think I'm better than anybody who just works a day job but I feel like I have talents that can't reach their full potential in an insurance office.

Now you may be asking "So what do you want to do?" I don't know. That's what's frustrating. I still want to play sweet, sweet, rock n' roll but at this point in time, with two amazing little girls to raise; I'm not willing to sacrifice my family on the altar of rock. I want to play shows but I'm not ready for an all out effort right now. The real problem is time. I want to read. I want to write. I want to play music but finding the unobstructed time to do so is not easy. I'm not trying to make this an "I hate my day job" blog. I really don't. It's a good job with good benefits that is a blessing in our down-turned economy. I guess I'm looking for fulfillment on an "artistic" (man I hate writing that word, it feels so pretentious) level. I'm sure this issue will resolve itself in the fullness of God's mercy and time. Summoning the patience and perseverance for that time is the hard part. Enough of my whining, I'm out.

Here's a little Tom Petty. Sometimes we need Tom to get us through the day.

dig it.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Validation

Happy belated St. Joan of Arc day everybody! (Friday)

Note: This blog is basically a continuation of the "my sympathies" blog. I've had a heavy religious focus lately. Sorry if it bores you, it's just on my mind a great deal and I like writing about it so I shouldn't apologize, I take it back. I think part of me is wanting to explain myself to my Pentecostal friends, let'em know where I am at. This blog unfortunately came off pretty basic, I had a hard time getting a good handle on it and I'm not really sure why. Maybe I need some sleep. Anyway I'll try to blog about something else soon. (If I feel like it sucka-punk!)

Liturgy

Lit"ur*gy\, n.; pl. Liturgies. [F. liturgie, LL. liturgia, Gr. ? a public service, the public service of God, public worship; (assumed) ?, ?, belonging to the people, public (fr. ?, ?, the people) + the root of ? work. See Lay, a., and Work.] An established formula for public worship, or the entire ritual for public worship in a church which uses prescribed forms; a formulary for public prayer or devotion. In the Roman Catholic Church it includes all forms and services in any language, in any part of the world, for the celebration of Mass. Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998 MICRA, Inc


Along with my Anglo-Catholic leanings has come an interest in and a love for liturgical Christianity. Within it, I have found a great deal of good spirituality and methodology. I love the focus on Christ in the liturgical service (or the divine liturgy) and the reverence that is shown him. I believe that sometimes in the evangelical community we focus so much on Jesus being our friend we neglect to show him the respect that is due him as God. Coupled with this Christ-centered aspect is a strong emphasis on the reading of scripture. A selection is read from the Psalms, Old Testament, New Testament and a passage from the Gospels intentionally possessing the words of Christ. With some churches maybe only using two verses in a service, I believe a heavy scriptural content to be a crucial element.

The greatest thing about the divine liturgy to me however, is partaking in the Holy Eucharist. I don't think I can adequately describe the joy I receive from this unification with Christ, this consuming of grace, it is an absolutely wonderful mystery. I can't tell you whether I believe in transubstantiation or consubstantiation, I don't know. I do believe however, it's so much more than juice and crackers. I'm not sure why we would need fear being unworthy of the Eucharist if it's just Welch's and Saltines, there simply has to be more to it.

Liturgical Christianity has also influenced my personal spiritual life. I've really gotten into reading the daily lectionary from the Book of Common Prayer. http://justus.anglican.org/resources/bcp/
So far I've really just read the morning lectionary during the week but coupled with the Anglican Rosary http://companyofjesus.net/beads.html it really has enhanced my spiritual life, it's really brought a stability to my morning that has never really been there. No other type of devotional style has ever stuck. While this may just be something that suits my personality it really has brought fulfillment, ease of use, and consistency to my devotional time.

This blog should have been more in-depth. Maybe that can come later when I have more mental energy to give to the subject matter but for now I'm open to discussion.

dig it.

(I'm not really sure why this blog is italicized after the definition. I couldn't turn it off.)

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Take a deep breath, Count to Ten.

The further I go I'm convinced that nothing good ever comes from worrying. Jesus tells us explicitly not to worry but it's a tough lesson to learn.

When it comes to how we react to our culture we Christians often times react in a spirit of worry or fear that leads to actions of anger and irrationality which in turn, always reflects poorly on the body of Christ

Recently, I listened to a Brown Sessions podcast from Steve Brown Etc. recorded late last year which became the catalyst for this blog. http://stevebrownetc.com/2007/12/podcasts/the-brown-sessions/the-golden-compass-jeffery-overstreet/ It was an interview with Jeffrey Overstreet from Christianity Today about the film The Golden Compass but it quickly morphed into a conversation about how Christians react to these kind of pop culture events. The example of Harry Potter was brought up and if you recall the overwhelming Christian response was not at all pleasant. Well, at it turned out, J.K. Rowling, the author of the Harry Potter series was and is a Christian. http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1572107/20071017/index.jhtml
I'm not sure what her specific beliefs are, but the fact that the Christian community as a whole trashed her at the start without really giving her a fair shake is an embarrassing black eye for we knee-jerk Christians.

Two things I think we need to remember:

First, we need to look deeply into issues and gather all the facts we can before we speak (if we need speak at all).

Secondly, we need to remember that we do not battle against flesh and blood. There is no reason for us to hate, scream at, or spit on anyone. It seems to me Jesus only got angry at the impious religious leaders of his day. So we need to be certain that when we speak, we must speak the truth, in love, constantly seeking the wisdom of the Holy Spirit. "How we say something is sometimes more important that what we are saying."

So take a deep breath, count to ten, and don't worry, we're gonna be OK.

dig it.



footnote: The quote and a heavy nod go to Steve Brown on this blog.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

My sympathies

Hold on tight, this is a long one.

I suppose it's time I confess something. I hesitate to say it for the alarms that it may raise about my salvation. But I feel I need to say it, to get it off my chest.
I'm Cathlicostal. Well, maybe Anglicostal.

"Your what?"

"Cathlicostal."

"What's that?"

"I'm glad you asked."

For over a year my Catholic sympathies have been increasing. Out of reading St. Augustine and reading about him, St. Francis, St. Thomas Aquinas, and various other writings such as Chesterton's "Orthodoxy" their has grown a real love for the beauty in the Catholic tradition. I love the ancient faith and heritage it represents. I love the symbolism and art it contains. Albeit, it certainly has it stains (all traditions do,) I still find myself drawn to its finer attributes.

There is a part of me that wants to attach myself to the original church. Growing up pentecostal it had slipped by me what a protestant was, "a protest-ant." I was in protest, in rebellion against Rome and the original church. This didn't sit well with me. I remembered the Bible had some strong words against rebellion. So I attempted to examine and reflect upon the Reformation (in an untrained, layman way.) I attempted to find if God's hand was really in it or if he chose to work in spite of this Rebellion, there were things that needed to be addressed in the Church at that time but I wasn't sure that breaking away was the answer.

I've come to believe he is at work in protestant movements as well as the Catholic tradition, that he uses them, but I don't think this was the original plan. A terrible side effect of this Reformational split being the ease in which other consequential splits have come to pass. Consequentially, the world doesn't believe us because we lack unity. Why should they believe us when we don't believe each other? At this point in time my hope is that the prayer of Jesus "that they all be one" would come to pass in the acknowledgement, the agreement, that different christian traditions can account for the different parts of the body of Christ. That is, if we can't truly be under one universal name.

Now , questions you may be asking and some of which I'm still asking myself:

Do Catholics worship Mary?

No, at least their not supposed to. I believe Catholics can put to much of a focus on Mary but I also believe that we protestants, particularly we evangelicals don't show her enough respect. We seem to act as if anybody could have been the Blessed Mother.

Do they worship the Pope?

Nope. He is not considered a deity.

What about the infallibility of the Pope?

As I understand it, Their belief is that the Holy Spirit keeps him from speaking erroneously about church doctrine and whom am I to say how the Holy Spirit can work.

What the deal with the saints?

To me, the saints are Godly examples to draw inspiration from. I say this with great trepidation but as far as praying for the prayers of the saints and the Blessed Mother so that they may in turn pray on our behalf, (I'm going to get excommunicated for this,) I really don't have a problem with it. I want as many people as possible praying for me, living or dead. Now do I think their should be a good deal of moderation in our veneration and prayer to the saints? Absolutely, anything that doesn't ultimately point to Christ has no business in our spiritual lives.

Now their are certainly more questions that should and need to be asked but this blog is growing longer and longer so I must move on. I know they're could be a lot of comments, questions, and concerns which you are welcomed to direct at me, I'll try to answer them the best I can. I'm no expert.

To the "costal" side, I must say I still believe in speaking messages in other languages through the power of the Holy Spirit and the essential interpretation of those messages given by the same beautiful Paraclete but their are some things in the pentecostal realm that concern me. Issues ranging from doctrine to methodology that will have to wait for another blog.

There is so much more I want to write about. Such as my love of the liturgical side of Christianity and the value in it but that will have to wait for another day. I hope this is a good start.

dig it.

Mudcrutch

Mudcrutch is Tom Petty's new project. Well actually, it's a band he was in back in the 70's that was a springboard for him and some of the heartbreakers after their label broke them up. It's definitely worth your time.






dig it.

To blog or not to blog

"any utterance is a major assumption of responsibility" Richard Weaver

So I finally got internet at the house a couple of months ago and I thought hey, this will be great! I can keep up with friends and blog- it'll be sweet! But as it turns out I'm not that great at keeping up with people on-line (call me old fashioned but I'd rather just talk to ya on the phone.) I had a bigger and scarier revelation when it came to blogging- It turned out that I had nothing to write about, I didn't feel I had anything to say and that petrified me! I wondered if my life was that dull and commonplace as to have nothing worth sharing. But I've come to believe the lack of subject matter can be linked to three reasons:

1. Fear of accountability.
Not that my blogs would hold any type of weight or garner any type of attention or care but I'm leary of half-baked blogging on serious subject matter and the needless, perhaps dangerous paths they can take us down. So I hesitate to blog about subjects I'm not fairly confident in.

2. Fear of offending.
This probably lends to my non-confrontational nature, I'm scared of arguing, scared I'll be proven wrong (shallow and prideful I know), scared of hurt feelings and hurt friendships. But at the same time I think it's time I come around and start being true to myself regardless of the consequences, I mean Jesus certainly wasn't scared of making enemies and their certainly are people out their who need offending. (Not that all blogs would be of a serious, controversial nature but still,. I've certainly had rants in the past.)

3. Fear of vulnerability.
This third reason constitutes the main reason for my lack of subject matter. I realized I didn't have anything I could write about because their was nothing I was willing to open up about, I wanted to write in an engaging manner without engaging myself. But I'm beginning to realize that only by vulnerability I become myself , and this blog has been a practice of it.

A looming footnote to all of this is asking myself why I want to blog in the first place. Maybe I should go back to reason one, but I think I'll figure that out later.

dig it.