Intent

Great music always make me want to play music, always makes me miss playing.

My last serious music venture ended over three years ago. It's felt like a lifetime. I haven't spent every moment since then pining for Bigger than Dallas (The best band ever, if you never saw us well you missed something that surpasses anything that you will ever see. Ever.) I do still miss playing with Rob and Callie, the great times, the camaraderie, the music. BTD was my life, my identity. It didn't matter as much what crappy job I had because that wasn't me. I was a bass player playing music and that's all I wanted to do, to be.

Since my time with BTD has come to an end I've felt rather lost. I've had no certain idea what to do with myself or really, who I am. Now I know what you do is not who you are but still, it's very important to me that what ever I spend the majority of my time dong have real purpose, real intent. I need to feel like I'm working towards something. Whether it be reading (to acquire knowledge that I feel with be useful now or sometime down the road), writing, or playing music. I need to feel like I'm really using my God-given abilities not just toiling away at a job. I don't think I'm better than anybody who just works a day job but I feel like I have talents that can't reach their full potential in an insurance office.

Now you may be asking "So what do you want to do?" I don't know. That's what's frustrating. I still want to play sweet, sweet, rock n' roll but at this point in time, with two amazing little girls to raise; I'm not willing to sacrifice my family on the altar of rock. I want to play shows but I'm not ready for an all out effort right now. The real problem is time. I want to read. I want to write. I want to play music but finding the unobstructed time to do so is not easy. I'm not trying to make this an "I hate my day job" blog. I really don't. It's a good job with good benefits that is a blessing in our down-turned economy. I guess I'm looking for fulfillment on an "artistic" (man I hate writing that word, it feels so pretentious) level. I'm sure this issue will resolve itself in the fullness of God's mercy and time. Summoning the patience and perseverance for that time is the hard part. Enough of my whining, I'm out.

Here's a little Tom Petty. Sometimes we need Tom to get us through the day.

dig it.